Three Aesthetics guaranteed to capture the eye of the Male Species
Author: lilisokeyAs summer approaches, I have recently been putting my style and beauty hypotheses to the test on separate occasions. Within the past month, I’ve discovered three common threads that link most men, no matter the age, origin, ethnicity, hopes or dreams. These three things for some reason are like stimuli to testosterone and I felt it was only fair that I share my findings.
A. Healthy Hair in a well put together style
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Dr. J's note: Men love freckles. |
In my post last week, Not So Much, pt. 2 on thestyledit.com I responded to an anonymous comment surrounding the whole Carol’s Daughter model choice debacle and why I was not only confused but irritated with someone advocating the use of the phrase “good hair.” I continue this week to think how there are still people in 2011 within the Black & African American community that still find the phrase “Good Hair” acceptable for use and definition of a select few within the Black community. I’m still a bit perturbed, nonetheless I’ve found since then that other women with sense agree with me when I say, “good hair only means healthy hair.” Healthy Hair has shine, is soft, “trained,” and is most important, well moisturized. Whether natural, permed, pressed, straightened or dyed, hair is “good” when it is infused with the right product, time and care to make it smile on a daily basis. As black women, our hair is a reflection of who we are and what we want the world to know about us, and so it’s extra important when wanting to stand out in the crowd (for whatever reason – but in this case to attract a man) your roots must be prepared, because believe you me, men know more about our products and options than a lot of us do, so do your due diligence to come correct with the presentation of the locks and strands.
B. Red, Pink, Orange & Coral-based Lipstick
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Dr. J's note: Lips, yum... |
This category will only work if you research and take the time to find the right hue for your skin tone. As there are four colors listed, there are hundreds of skin tones that exist within the Black community. Please do enough homework to make sure the color accentuates and doesn’t make you look like Wanda from In Living Color. Also, keep in mind, during the summer months, your skin tone may change colors, if you have a go-to red lip you wear during the winter, that hue may not look right on you in the middle of august. The purpose of the color lip is to make your puckers pop, drawing the attention straight to your pout. Remember, when doing a bright lip, keep everything else simple. Clown school is not the end goal from this attempt.
C. Colors (bright hues – neon acceptable)
Spring and summer are the one time during the year that Brooklyn and the Bronx bring out colors other than navy, grey, black and brown. (Inside joke)The acceptance of color within the wardrobe livens up your mood and attracts not only the bumble bee’s but “dawgs” and sometimes “fleas” to your colorful wearable palette. (Disclaimer – depending on your attraction goal, the dawgs and fleas may require pest deterrent) The key to wearing bright colors is to not wear more than 2-3 colors at a time. The chic woman wears a full neutral look with a pop of turquoise in her necklace or in a blouse, and a pink based lip. Colors make you look brighter even when you may not feel as bright. A bright yellow or rich purple looks beautiful when bounced off of warm golden or sun kissed chocolate skin. The key is to wear in doses and to not outdo the rainbow.
Now, of course there are more than just three ways to attract a male, and yes all males are different but ALL males are truly, really simple creatures. As much as I hate to admit that on the net, it’s true. Their motivation is often led by or influenced by some woman in their life, whether it be mom, grandma, aunt, cousin, girlfriend or wife. No it doesn’t take a rocket scientist to figure out aesthetically pleasing traits to capture attention, but it takes many a long time to realize the first and foremost way is to be happy with who you are and confident on what you have to offer, inside and out. You may find the day where you have all the outer traits on point, but if you’ve never invested on fine-tuning you inside, then the exterior doesn’t mean much.
Lastly, please remember, the title of this post says “capture the eye” not“capture, keep and get a proposal next month.” It is my belief; women have the power to lead a culture in the direction she wants it to go. However, the difficulty is in the woman discovering and implementing that power into action. And I’m not talking about the “power of the p*,” I’m speaking about the symbolism behind the phrase. Once you have that man’s attention, what are you going to do to keep that man’s attention and make him want more of it the next day, next week and next year?
It’s an ongoing quest to become the whole woman, but with a little TLC, we can all become the ideal and more!
How to tie your Turban
Author: lilisokeyReally quick and easy video on how to tie the trendy turban look of the spring by Video Blogger Destiny Godley.
Enjoy!
Finding Classics within a Trend Zone - Sunglasses edition by Mia Anita
Author: lilisokey[top row] Decorated Sunglasses are huge this season; they give much character to the face. However, unless you're going to a really retro event, or retro is just your everyday style, I wouldn't invest too much money in a pair of these #onlywearforoneseason trend poppers.
[bottom row] The round rounds are also big. These locs are often credited to the late John Lennon in the 70's due to his donning of the round rounds and making them a popular must-have way back then. Now I find these to be more practical, however, please beware! You MUST know your face shape before purchasing. Yes, they're fun, yes, they can be cute on the right face but everyone does not have the right face for these bottle tops. If you do choose to move forward, pick a color you will be able to wear in 2012, 2013 and 2027. When shopping in trends its important to pick a style, color, shape that will last longer than the trend's listed tenure on style.com

photos courtesy of anysunglasses.com, style.com, and various internet searches
Monday's Message
Author: lilisokeyWalk This Way: The Nude Pump by Mia Anita
Author: lilisokeyFor as long as I can remember, I've always had an infatuation with "the truly nude pump," it's just something about the subtleness that does it for me. Whether its a bright cobalt dress or a pretty colorful motif, you can never go wrong with the nude pump, and actually for most women, the truly nude pump should be your best friend.
Now you may say, why'd you say for MOST women and not all. Well because not all women have the same complexion as the nude pumps pictured above. Take Kelly Rowland below for example. Now I love Ms. Rowland's newly found freshness, I think it suits her very well and I'm very happy to see her show some pizzazz and flash, HOWEVER... the shoes she's wearing in the photo, may be nude pumps to say a Charlize Theron, but those are NOT truly nude for Ms. Kelly.
When seeking a truly nude pump, on YOUR foot, it should be just that - NUDE! And when I say Nude, I mean BLEND! These pumps she has on have now transformed into baby pink pearlized rose pumps (yes all that)... and I know that was not the intention. Women of color have to be very cognizant of the difference between what society may name something and what WE KNOW it to be. And since we all come in various beautiful complexions, tones and underhues, there's a sense of honesty and responsibility we must have with ourselves, friends and family members when seeking items that may not necessarily include thoughts of "us" during the naming or designing process.
This is not to say there aren't nude shoes for every shade, because there are. Everything from pearl white to mahogany to rich grape, they're out there, we just have to look.

Pencil Skirts: Hate 'em or Love 'em by Dr. J
Author: lilisokeyI’m not concerned with when I’m going out on the town, I’m probably not going to get fooled by too many pencil skirts. There’s going to be some authentic pencil skirt wearers in there, so a girl looking to trick a guy into thinking she’s got super long legs and a fatty are slim. Let it be known that a woman should use her pencil skirt as an accent, but not as a concealer.
My main issue with pencil skirts is men are not fashionistas; we’re just not going to be able to catch every trick that a woman tries to pull on us, we’ll need help. A good pencil skirt makes your body look longer, makes your butt looked bigger, and it even makes your posture seem proper. The majority of men are getting fooled by women who are wearing their pencil skirt to work. Personally, there have been many mornings when I’ve been on the train and I look up and see a woman in a pencil skirt and say to myself, “Wow, for how skinny she is, she’s got a nice shape down there.” After I examine the scene some more I realize that she’s actually really skinny, but she’s wearing a pencil skirt. Same can happen with a girl who is a little overweight, because the pencil skirt brings your legs together and pushes everything into one place, it may look like she’s got an hour glass figure. In reality, when she takes off that pencil skirt, it-all-falls-down. #ohhboy.
How does a man become a fashionista? Attention to detail. In my opinion, I’ve become quite good at spotting those people who are using their pencil skirt as a crutch, by examining the oft times not gazed upon features of the dress. Here are a few areas to take note of:
(1) If she wants the skirt to make her butt to appear larger and more shapely she’s going to have to tuck her shirt in. It’s also going to have a high waist to push the top down and the bottom up. Therefore, her stomach should be covered by the skirt; look in this region to see if she’s packing a few extra pounds than expected, if so, that skirt is doing the most.
With all that said, I have seen pencil skirts look awesome on the right body. I’ve been fooled by a pencil skirt and grown to despise the woman and I don’t even know if she’s a nice girl or not. I think the best way to wear a pencil skirt is to let it work within its limits. Make sure it fits, make sure it reaches just above your knees, and doesn’t have any extra contouring elastic. This will ensure a natural look that even if your body isn’t perfect, it accentuates your best features perfectly. I personally don’t like the pencil skirt in the club, it doesn’t make sense, it’s not a cocktail dress and you cannot dance in it. (Not for nothing, if you have your going out heels on, you’re asking for trouble, you can barely walk in the heels, let alone the skirt.) I like a pencil skirt in a professional setting in a conservative color: black, blue or khaki, not red. As much as I hate pencil skirts, I actually like them, I just hate being a sucker for fashion.
Black Scuffs on your Pat-N-Leather
Author: lilisokeySummer Dressing from a Man's P.O.V.
Author: lilisokeyToday I'm running around Manhattan and couldn't help but notice how eager people are to get their summer on. Despite the fact that it's only April, I've noticed some women are dressed bananas. Before the temperature rises any further, I wanted to share some fashion advice to the ladies from a man's perspective.
Everything that I say is what most men think, so don't hate, just relate:
Feet: Men fall into two camps - those who love/fetish over women's feet and those who loathe feet. The foot game breaks down into two parts--the front and back. Men don't necessarily need the whole French pedicure routine, but keep the toes tight. If your feet look like they could be in an ad for a podiatrist, keep your feet hidden. Regarding the back, if your heel looks like Italian bread or a loaf of French bread, you got a problem. Cocoa butter, aloe vera, mineral oil, there are way too many options out there for you to have an ashy heel. Stop the madness. Or wear shoes that cover your feet.
Flip Flops: They're not sexy, fly, cute, or cool. Please stop. We don't want to hear you flip-flopping down the block. Plus having your bare foot SO exposed to the natural elements is super gross. I would never let you put your nasty feet on my 500-thread count Egyptian cotton sheets. You'd have to shower and scrub first. Word.
Jewelery: It gets hot during the summer time. Having all this gold, silver, and platinum hanging off your ears or on all eight of your fingers plus two opposable thumbs just ain't cute. You're reflect light back out as well as conducting heat, which means you're blinding us and making yourself hotter. Not smart.
Mid-Riff: Anything that exposes your navel or the tattoo on the small of your back is not a good look. Men immediately put you in the 'hit it and quit it' category.
Sneakers: If men wanted to date someone who wore some AF1's or Dunks, we would date ourselves. And clearly we don't want to do that. So keep the Jordans at home.
Makeup: All that makeup that some of you use to cover up and hide things doesn't work so well when the sun is beating down on you and the humidity level is thicker than porridge. Basically your face melts away as well as any hopes of any man kicking it to you.
Hair: Four words--Keep It Simple Sista!
Handbags: Men understand that women have a bag obsession, but carrying around a 29" pullman with you is just impractical and downright silly. If your bag can't fit underneath an airplane seat, it's just too big and you need to leave the bathroom you took from home back at home.
Toiletries: Okay, this may be just a New York subway thing, but just in case. Ladies, please rub and marinate the baby powder into your skin. I can predict the weather by the amount of baby powder I see dusted on the chest of some girls. They look like Ashy Larry's wife. Marinate it please.
Perfume: If we can taste you perfume when you walk by, you sprayed too much.
Stop the madness. And this ladies, this just about covers it. It's pretty simple. Men don't ask for much, just a level of consistency and consideration when you get dressed because that's what's summer is all about--ladies getting fly and losing their minds over them. If you choose not to follow these simple guidelines, you might just lose out on an opportunity.
My wisdom for the week
Author: lilisokeyIf someone asks the reason for such an ensemble... simply share with them... "I'm Alive"
Enjoy the week. Make it the best one by far.
Looking for a stylish pair of wellies a.k.a Rain Boots
Author: lilisokey
Where to get ‘em!
Retailers including Martin + Osa and J. Crew now carry Aigle boots. On the upper left is the Aigle Start Riding Boot ($103.20 once $129.00 at Martin and Osa), a plain black riding boot that is a perfect reproduction of their leather counterparts. On the model are a pair of violet burberry rain boots (upper right, $195 at Net-a-Porter) to show you how great skinny jeans look tucked into tall boots. On the bottom row far left is the Aigle Women’s Bergen lace up rain boot ($207.95 at Shoebuy.com). Again in the riding boot style these two-toned Aigle Jumping Rubber Boots ( bottom row middle, $199.99 at saddlesource.com) look like traditional dressage riding boots if you are looking for the Bon chic, bon genre aka French preppy style. Lastly is the two-toned Aigle Women’s Rubber Boot in Brown, ($149.00 at studentmarket.com).
photo courtesy of blackburn and sweetzer
Spring Time make-up fun
Author: lilisokeyAttack of the White Jean
Author: lilisokeyIn this day-and-age men's fashion has reached an all time high of what the hell?!. In a good way? I think NOT. Prime Example - White Skinny Jeans
There is nothing attractive about seeing a man walking down the street with tighter pants on than me, and on top of them being form-fitting, they're white. There's also a certain enabling swag factor that comes along with these restricting bottoms, a kind of "walk or stride" if you will that screams... "caution i tried too hard so do not approach". Don't get me wrong

(see photo to the right...) and now I ask... What do you think?
Do you like Robin's new tattoo(s)?
Author: lilisokey

o and btw cotton bras seem to be the big hit for the summer. They come in all different colors. Go for a bright neon pink, green or yellow with a black or white long cotton tank